Monday, June 11, 2012

Patience

While I am trying to basically teach myself how to effectively research and put it all together in a simple yet informative way, I figure it would be wise to still post. Post what? Tonight it is basic life stuff. Thought patience was a great place to start. Patience. Waiting. Reflective. Tonight it reminds me of a person I recently met. And when we think we are feeling a connection or are smitten, we seem to forget patience. Maybe it's the human race today, as we want everything now. But it doesn't work that way with emotions and feelings. You meet, you have an amazing time, you go home. and when you reach home, your mind goes in many directions. You analyze everything; did I say the right thing, did I open the door, did I ask the right questions? We want to know what the other person is thinking, deciding, at that very moment as well at their house, in their room, laying in their bed. Was the time spent as enjoyable for them as well? Did they laugh at your humor? Did they seem comfortable? Did we make enough eye contact? It is enough to cause an enormous amount of stress, of self doubt. I have to remind myself that no one wants or needs to be forced into a quick decision. Not that I would ever do that anyway, but we need to practice that word again - patience. What we want or seek should not come to you immediately. There should be a waiting process, no matter how seemingly torturous. Time is needed to absorb and decipher, to comprehend and understand. And while we may want an answer quickly, it is illogical in this sense. One meeting can not realistically determine if two should be together. I find that letting someone know I am interested, in a subtle and quick way, should be followed by giving her space. Being a genuine and sincere gentleman on a date resonates clearly to a woman, and I find it respectful to then allow some space and time for her to decipher and comprehend. If she decides to move on, then I find comfort in knowing that I showed her exactly the real person I am. Stay true to self, always... Time will tell. Patience...

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Learning to Focus

Learning to focus is a slightly ironic title, if you think about it. Here I am talking about focus, yet it is I who is unable to put out two posts within the same week. I am ok with that, as it just was not my time to focus on writings. But this will now change. And here's why. I am admittedly one of those you may refer to as scatterbrained. That means that I readily admit my inability to maintain focus that is required to totally dominate and conquer a subject. Instead I find my brain bouncing from one though to another, only to not return to the initial thought or idea for a few days or weeks. That is a huge downfall and something that needs to be addressed. You would think that at my age of 41 this would not be an issue. Lately I have been trying to figure out when this actually started. I do recall in my youth in Virginia that I was a good student but could have done better. I was a good athlete, but could have done better. I cleaned my room but it could have been better. Hmmm, a pattern. I seemingly was satisfied with average, or doing juuuust enough. Maybe I didn't know better at the time. My college career was divided into sections essentially. I went for a few years, didn't really focus and failed out. I clearly recall getting a letter saying that I had achieved senior status, then two days later another letter telling me that my GPA was too low and to hit the bricks. A few years later was a return to school, this time at the University of Montana. One year, a big student loan and a lure of a job that didn't pan out. Even when I returned, and finished, at Eastern Washington my efforts were at times average. But my GPA upon entering was a pitiful 1.9 and at graduation it was 3.3. This time I did it for myself and my mom, who had passed at Christmas 2009. At least this time I didn't totally fall into my old habits. Like most kids, I was involved in a variety of sports. Football, basketball, baseball, then later in high school it was track and cross country. Was I good? yes, but only good. It was the old 'jack-of-all-trades, a-master-of-none' scenario. Could I have played football at a small college? Yes. Baseball? Probably. Running? Yes, in fact, I had an offer from Montana State but my times were just slightly too slow for what they wanted. Looking back, it's a shame that my inability to focus resulted in, well, getting nothing. I had all the ability to actually get somewhere athletically, but did not have or was not given, the push to excel at one thing. And maybe as a kid that's ok. With all the talk of parents' who push their kids into one sport as a way to either become a future meal ticket or to make up for their own insecurities and failures in their own childhood (or maybe both), maybe my parents just decided to let me figure out what I liked. And my apparent decision was to like a little of everything but not be great at anything. Which has led me to my decision to basically make a decision! I want and need to get more into my new career with the military. I'm a fitness specialist, so that means teaching spin and TRX classes,and training officers, soldiers and dependents. It's similar yet different from a commercial gym setting, mainly in that there are lots of big guns and also that we don't have the pressure of selling training. We are there to serve and it's a cool environment. So the focus shall now be on work and development, my own training, and research and writing. Writing was my first love and something I actually knew I was good at. I now want and need to validate my existence; without validation, then what is my purpose? There is a need to prove to myself that I can be great at something. I will aim at reading my butt off, learning a ton and simplifying it in a fun way for you. Then we both win.So here goes..